Bible Study

Personal Salvation and Evangelism: Session Six

The first great benefit promised for the person, who has trusted the gospel, who has repented, and who has been baptized, is forgiveness of sins.

The Foundation of Atonement

The foundation for our teaching of forgiveness rests in the atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross. The atonement is a great, rich, multifaceted mystery that cannot be adequately explored as a subset in an article focused on forgiveness. We lightly touched on the topic in Session Two, and we will not carry that discussion further in this session.

The Practical Problem of Misunderstanding Forgiveness

I have concluded that the doctrine of atonement is not, for the most part, where our practical problem with forgiveness lies. Our practical problem with forgiveness exists in our confusions about what it means to receive and to offer forgiveness, and so that is where I have focused this study. 

Please pause to read the basic text for this session: Matthew 18:15-35.

Stress Factors         

You have heard of stress fractures. I am going to talk for a few moments about something quite different: the stress factor. Stress is a factor in most illnesses and many accidents—almost never the sole factor, but usually one factor among several factors. Stress factors raise our blood pressure, trigger cancers cells, affect our digestive and eliminative systems, suppress our immune system, multiply pain, hinder sleep, make us accident-prone, and on and on. Remove that factor, and many things might turn out differently.

We think of stress in terms of money, employment, and relational difficulties, but it may escape our attention how often we retain stress in our bodies because of unresolved guilt for which we have not received God’s forgiveness or because of unresolved bitterness resulting from our failing to forgive others. Unresolved guilt and unresolved bitterness cause stress, and they can eat us alive!

Guilt           

God wants us to know that we sin. God wants us to repent of our sin; repenting means turning away from it. But God does not want us to grovel in our guilt. Guilt serves no purpose except to drive us toward repentance. If it is not driving us toward repentance or if it lingers after repentance, it is serving no good purpose.            

Many people who linger in guilt simply do not know how to claim God’s forgiveness. [I once saw a cartoon about a customer in a card shop: “Do you have a card that stops short of saying, ‘I’m sorry,’ yet vaguely hints of some wrongdoing.”]           

Our culture tries to dismiss guilt rather than to resolve it. If people feel guilty, they are told that it is because they were brought up wrong; they are told that they need to remove those guilt-inducing tapes that their parents recorded in their subconscious minds, and that they need to learn how to accept themselves. This approach does not resolve guilt; it simply stashes it like a stinking corpse in the basement of the soul.

Jesus understood that guilt cannot be dismissed, that it must be resolved. It is resolved through the sacrificial death of Jesus and by our repenting, believing, and receiving. We must receive the assurance that our guilt has been covered by God, our Creator. Until our guilt has been resolved in the highest court, it is simply stashed in the basement stinking up the place. But, when God covers our guilt, it is properly embalmed and buried never to bother us again.           

Jesus, the perfect Son of God, God-with-us, is the agent of God’s forgiveness.

LUKE 5:17-26 One day, while Jesus was in a house teaching and healing, with critical Pharisees watching him closely, some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a bed. They could not force their way through the crowd, so they went up on the roof and made an opening and then lowered the man down before Jesus through the opening.  Seeing the faith of the friends, Jesus told the man, “Your sins are forgiven you.” The critics went into rage. They accused Jesus of blasphemy because, they claimed, only God can forgive sins. They missed the key point that Jesus was God-with-us.  Jesus then demonstrated his authority by telling the man to take up his bed and to go home. The man, healed, did as Jesus suggested, glorifying God along the way. In this story, Jesus withstood his critics in order to demonstrate his authority to forgive. In the fullness of his ministry, he suffered persecution and died on the cross to make the forgiveness available for all who will believe. Jesus came to offer the forgiveness we need. We are not left to be paralyzed by guilt, and we do not have to stash the smelly truth in the basement. Through faith in Jesus, the guilt can be addressed and dealt with. We can be forgiven. If Jesus went to such great lengths to offer forgiveness, who are we to refuse it?   

How Do We Receive Forgiveness?

Bitterness

Unresolved guilt is not the only enemy. There is also unresolved bitterness.

I once heard of a general practice physician who said that the majority of his patients would be substantially healthier if they would only forgive the people against whom they held grudges. That is a wise physician.

Sooner or later someone is going to do something to you that makes you very angry. Anger is not necessarily bad. God gave us the capacity for anger to help us respond when something is wrong and needs to be corrected. Sometimes anger has fulfilled its purpose when it has alerted us to what strikes us as wrong; other times, it is helpful to express the anger. Jesus was able to show anger and to act with the energy of anger when he needed to do so. It was not sinful for him to do so. It was appropriate. Of course, we are not perfect like Jesus, and sometimes our anger is based on faulty impressions or sinful distortions. So we need to be humble and cautious here. But my point is that anger has a purpose.

But people who hold onto their anger, who nurse their anger, who feed their anger, end up developing bitterness, rage, and depression.  Anger that is cherished turns ugly and destructive, and guess who gets hurt: usually not the person with whom we are angry, but we who hold the anger.

Many times, when people hear that they must forgive someone, they think that they cannot do that because they misunderstand what forgiveness means.

Some people think that forgiveness means saying, “That’s all right.” It does not! Some things are not all right, and we do not have to put up with them. Sexual abuse is not all right. Physical abuse is not all right. Lying and slander are not all right. I could go on. In the same 18th chapter of the Gospel according to Matthew, where Jesus teaches unlimited forgiveness, he also teaches us how to confront wrongdoing and tells us that we have the right to exclude someone from our fellowship if they will not correct their wrongdoing. For some wrongdoing, jail is appropriate. For some wrongdoing, being cut out of a family or a church is appropriate.

Our obligation to forgive is without limit, but there are limits to our obligation to reconcile with someone who will not correct serious wrongdoing. We are not talking about minor irritations here; we are talking about serious wrongdoings. Some things are simply not acceptable in human community.

So, if we are faced with a situation in which a serious wrong has been done—if we have gone through all the appropriate steps and making things better is still not possible—then we have the right to take steps to limit the damage the other person can do. But we still must forgive.

What does it mean to forgive? While I may rightly restrain or exclude a wrongdoer, I need to drop the desire for vengeance. Wrongdoers may need to pay penalties under the law, but I must release my emotional desire to see the wrongdoer suffer. We must not simply refrain from desiring to punish; we must also pray God’s blessing for the wrongdoer.

If someone is acting out of emotional woundedness, we pray for healing for that woundedness. If someone does not know God, we pray that God will become real for them. If someone has lived under a curse, we pray for abundant grace for them, that they will be overcome by God’s lavish love.

Will that do good for the forgiven? Possibly. They will still have choices. If they choose to cling to evil, God will allow them to do so.

But praying blessing for our enemies unquestionably does good for the forgiver. It stops our feeding of our anger; it roots out the bitterness in our souls; it blocks the development of lingering rage. 

When we forgive a person, we do not necessarily reconcile with them. But if the other person has repented and made a significant change in behavior—and, in the case of dangerous behavior, if there is a track record to verify that the change is real and lasting--then we become open to reconciliation to the degree that this can be beneficial to all involved. 

I do not encourage victims of abuse to be quick in pushing beyond forgiveness to reconciliation. The experience of far too many indicates that this is usually a mistake. Rooting out abusive behavior requires more than feeling sorry, shedding tears, and making promises. It requires a deep change in the foundations of one’s life, and that takes time and hard, disciplined work. We need to allow for that process to take place before we rescue an abuser from the consequences of his or her actions.

Forgiving abusers is one thing. That needs to happen. But an extended period of tough love from a distance needs to follow before reconciliation is attempted.

The abuser or addict may try to tell us that they must have reconciliation with us if they are to be encouraged to proceed with their program of recovery. That is not true. That is a manipulative technique on their part to reduce their own pain. We are not indispensable to the recovery of another person. They need to discover that only God is indispensable. They need to discover that the help they really need comes from God. There are also plenty of support groups and professional counselors to help anyone who really wants to change.

How Do We Offer Forgiveness?

If you need to forgive someone, I suggest the following steps:

I want the bottom line to be clear. Jesus commands us to offer forgiveness. It is not merely an option for those who want Jesus to be their Lord; it is a commandment. According to Mark 11:25, Jesus says, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” Other ancient manuscripts include 11:26: “But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” 

Jesus Christ came to offer forgiveness. Have you received his offer? Jesus Christ teaches that, in order to receive forgiveness, we must also give forgiveness. When we understand how to do that, we can, with his help, do it. We can forgive and be forgiven. We can receive the relief from stress and the healing that follows.

Some of you may have encountered a distortion of Mark 11:25-26, a distortion that says that a person will not receive salvation if they die with unforgiveness in their hearts. This places far too much weight on our frail and changeable human hearts.

Our salvation rests on our being clothed in the righteousness of Jesus. If our salvation rested on our own righteousness, on our getting our hearts, minds, and actions 100% right and keeping them there at all times, none of us would ever be saved.

It is, of course, unbecoming for one who has received forgiveness to fail to grant it. If their unforgiveness means that they have not received and entered God’s realm of mercy that has been offered in Jesus Christ, then, of course, salvation cannot follow. There is no other basis on which we can be saved than the grace of Jesus Christ. But Jesus is the one assigned to judge that matter of our hearts. It is not necessary for us to render that judgment. Jesus is the only Savior, and Jesus is the only judge. Always be wary of formulas that place judgments about salvation in our hands.

In my pastoral experience, it is more likely that the unforgiving person is stuck, not because they fail to appreciate grace, but because they have failed to understand what is involved in forgiving another. Usually they think that forgiving means saying. “That’s all right!” or they think that it means reconciling with someone who might continue to take advantage of them. And they rightly balk at doing that!

It is true that they would be spiritually healthier and more likely to receive blessing in this life if they could get all that straightened out so that they could do what Jesus instructs us to do. But God knows the difference between a self-righteous person who has declined to be gracious and a confused person who would forgive if they heard and understood correct teaching about forgiveness.

It is a great privilege to lead people to forgive someone who seriously harmed them, someone they felt they could never forgive, and this often can be done just by clearing away the confusions in their minds so that they can hear God’s word afresh. I have seen it happen far more than once!

In fact, helping people get straight about forgiveness may enable them to receive the gospel of salvation. I have encountered people who thought that they could not receive salvation because they were not prepared to say, “That’s all right!” to someone who abused them. When they realized that this is not what the command to forgive is about, they quickly and happily found the assurance of saving grace that God wanted them to have and readily forgave their abuser.

Discussion Questions

1. Is there someone you have felt that you cannot forgive? Does this study help you forgive them?

2. Do you know anyone whose assurance of salvation is hindered by their misunderstanding about forgiveness? How can you help them?

3. Is there anything you would change about the steps of forgiveness that have been outlined above? If so, are your changes in line with the scriptures?

4. It is important that the above teaching not be used to dismiss our need to forgive those who have done wrong to us. Are you satisfied that you can hold the various aspects of this teaching in balance?

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